Ashley’s Song (Part 1)

Disillusioned by the thought of flawless love
You are not alone.

 

I just found out my girlfriend cuts herself
Not for attention
But as a
Way to cope.

I caught her two days ago,
I walked into her dorm room unexpected.
She thought she locked her door
We were both surprised.

I didn’t know how to handle it
So I reacted instead of receiving her.
I became angry, which only cut
Deeper.

She said she’s been a cutter since she was fourteen.
Some people keep a diary or a blog
She keeps her secrets and pain
Beneath the skin of her inner thigh.

I told her I would go with her to get help.
She told me off, using words instead of the blade to protect herself.
She said I shouldn’t judge how she deals with ____________.
I swear I didn’t mean to judge her, or, to be mean.

We all have our stuff we carry
I love her, but I don’t know if I can do this.
I want her to, no I beg her to let me in
Instead of the shards of metal in her shoebox.

I love her so much, I am so torn
Like the skin of her upper arms.
Stay…go…hug her…hide her instruments…
What would you do?

I just found out my girlfriend cuts herself
Not for attention
But as a
Way to cope.

 

[I wrote this poem in 2004.  If you or someone you know is on either side of this poem, check out this website: To Write Love On Her Arms.  There is hope.  Rescue is possible.]

 

[Poem #3 of 30.  Image by Orangeya via Flickr and a Creative Commons License.]

 

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