How many times in our life do we say, “Let me pray about it more first” when we are really just scared to death to step forward in what we KNOW in our hearts God has led us to do?
I believe more often than not.
Ten years ago, my soul mate and I started talking about what God had placed on both our hearts: the desire—the NEED– to adopt a brother and a sister. Now, we already had a beautiful little girl (our perfect princess, by the way), not to mention our energetic, wild and crazy toddler boy (blonde curls to go with that devilish smile).
We hadn’t suffered through infertility like so many couples who resort to adoption talks; in fact, you’d think since we had “one of each” we would’ve been content. But God still tugged at our hearts.
Ironically, the number “4” had been a part of our “children” discussion since before we married. But, somehow, three Master’s degrees and ten years of “maturity” had brought us to a place of “rationality”- or maybe more a place of comfort.
Why rock the boat now?? Conversations went something like this:
“If only we hadn’t waited so long to have our first.” “Yeah, if only we hadn’t spaced them so far apart, too!”
“Yeah, it would’ve been nice to have four, but it’s just so expensive, how would we pay for college??”
“Exactly. It’s not realistic.”
“True. It’s not wise, either.”
Yet, all the while, God continued to tug at our hearts….
Sometimes, it was through a “Feed the Children” commercial, when our tears would lead to sobbing and we just KNEW that it was our calling to do more than look away… more than write a check for $20.00- much more. At other times, He spoke to us through a friend’s story, or a TV show about a child getting adopted. And our reaction was ALWAYS intense—our hearts would race, we’d lock eyes… and then… we’d convince ourselves these were CRAZY thoughts!
Until… one Sunday morning last May. We were talking about children and the discussion led to our long ago wish to adopt one day. We immediately felt God speak to us about HOPE and LOVE. We fell on the bed, holding each other, sobbing… hysterically. We KNEW He was telling us this: “LEAP forward” and “TRUST me.”
We asked each other the question that would this time be answered honestly. This time, our FEARS were not diminished- in fact, they were right in our face; this time, we weren’t any younger, either. This time, we were still panicked about how we could financially do this, but THIS time, we KNEW we had to LEAP forward, and TRUST GOD.
[Tune in Friday for Part 2!]
Lori is a mommy of four, a wife of 20 years, a college professor, a fitness lover and competitor, and a Christian. Her question to herself, and those around her whom she cares about is this: “What can you DO to change your present life AND the lives of others for the better?” Then, DO it. She can be found online at http://hawaiimomof4.bodybyvi.com .