On Easing The Anxiety Of Being Selfish

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You want to be selfless.  You want to put the needs of “them” above your own.

You want to, really.

But the nagging question, the underlying itch

The dried moisture hanging out of your nose for all to see

Is this

“What about me?”

Your pride, your ego, your past hurts

Scream and stomp feet and command attention

What about me?

No, don’t set yourself aflame to keep them warm

Guard your heart, but we all want the world to see our what about me

I haven’t gotten this figured out, I still put up walls of ego and pride

To give but wanting

A balance or validation or something.

 

The funny thing I’ve found

Is when I actually put a person’s needs above mine

A person vs. people

I get a feeling I did the right thing. I feel good.

Maybe it’s the number that is the difference

Giving to a person and not people.

Making it personal instead of public.

A small group vs. the masses.

Maybe that will diffuse the anxiety and apprehension

Of the giving.

 

[Photo By James Cridland]

2 Comments

  • good stuff! When I expressed wondering if my good deeds were just selfish acts so that I could feel good, my dad explained to me- no, no, Lori; it’s set up that way. That’s your reward! God put that in place so that we would act with kindness. Embrace it, follow your heart and enjoy the reward. 🙂

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