You want to be selfless. You want to put the needs of “them” above your own.
You want to, really.
But the nagging question, the underlying itch
The dried moisture hanging out of your nose for all to see
“What about me?”
Your pride, your ego, your past hurts
Scream and stomp feet and command attention
What about me?
No, don’t set yourself aflame to keep them warm
Guard your heart, but we all want the world to see our what about me
I haven’t gotten this figured out, I still put up walls of ego and pride
To give but wanting
A balance or validation or something.
The funny thing I’ve found
Is when I actually put a person’s needs above mine
A person vs. people
I get a feeling I did the right thing. I feel good.
Maybe it’s the number that is the difference
Giving to a person and not people.
Making it personal instead of public.
A small group vs. the masses.
Maybe that will diffuse the anxiety and apprehension
Of the giving.
[Photo By James Cridland]