wor·ry [wur-ee, wuhr-ee]
1. to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.
2. to move with effort: an old car worrying uphill.
How do you define worry? The above definition is from dictionary.com (I like the second definition). I define worry as:
Having faith that something bad will happen.
Worry isn’t a lack of faith, it’s just misplaced faith. If you have the capacity to believe something bad will happen, you also have the capacity to believe something good will happen. Worry can be used for good.
Why I Hate Dr. Internet, M.D.
I found out from the Transplant Team I have a collection of blood and fluid located near my new kidney. It is not interfering with my new kidney function, but it is causing me pain and discomfort.
I had a CT Scan done yesterday and it shows I have a lymphocele, which is “a collection of lymph fluid in a sac or cavity.” The lymphocele is a result of my kidney transplant from 9/20/10. I have been having pain in my side for some time, now we know why.
I searched online to look up what a lymphocele is and this is what I found:
“A renal transplant is a major surgery where one can not risk leaving a lymphocele in place, as this increases the chances of organ rejection or may even hamper the functioning of the new kidney.” -From an article at Buzzle
I knew better than to consult with Dr. Internet, but I gave into the temptation and now I’m freaking out. My worryfaith is on overload. First The BK Virus might cause my body to reject Kidd Rokkney, and now this?
How Worry Is Like An Alarm Clock
When the alarm goes off on our alarm clock, it reminds and motivates us to wake up and get out of bed. No, we do not like it and yes, we want to stay in bed. But if you hit snooze, nine minutes later it is going to go off again. And again. If you turn it off, you will probably over sleep.
Our alarm clocks immediately remind us we are in the present when they go off. Worry can do the same. It can wake us up by reminding us we are thinking negatively. It can give us an opportunity to refocus our thinking positively.
When worry goes off, it can be a reminder that we do in fact have faith. It can cause us to move with effort to connect to God, other people, other resources, etc.
The Beauty of Worrying
I was told by the transplant team that my lymphocele is only 3-4cm and is not interfering with my kidney function.
However my worryfaith is telling me otherwise, and that encourages me. It lets me know I do have faith, and that faith is strong. If I can believe strongly in a negative outcome, I can shift that faith to believe in a positive outcome.
Maybe you’ve been labeled a worrier, and people have caused you to feel bad about that. I offer this counterpoint about worrying: Someone who worries has tremendous faith. Isn’t that great!
We can find beauty in worrying, and view it positively. To use it as an internal indicator to get us moving toward believing in a more positive outcome.
My plan is to take a shower, pray, and drink hot chocolate in my “Amazing Spider-Man” mug. I choose to allow my worry to be a reminder of being human and move with effort toward something good.
What do you think about worrying? Comment below and let’s chat about it.
[photo by publicenergy]