“After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I… I realized what a terrific person she was, and… and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I… I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.”- Woody Allen from “Annie Hall”
Relationships. It’s the lifeblood that courses through us to other people.
I’ve been thinking quite a bit about this topic. There are three types of relationships we all deal with, regardless of race, wealth, education, religion, etc. Three relationships that dictate our entire lives from birth to death:
- A relationship with God
- A relationship with ourselves
- A relationship with other people
I Want You To Want Me, I Need You To Need Me
Every problem, every wound, every social injustice, every negative event in our lives has to do with a breakdown in one or more of these relationships. We all wrestle like a WWE contender for the heavyweight title when it comes to relationships. “God, I want you to love me.” “Mom, Dad, siblings, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friends, I want you to love me.” “I want to love myself.”
I know not everyone believes in God, or trusts other people, or even believes in themselves. I get that. I would however ask: why? What happened that caused you to feel that way? No, I’m not asking to talk you out of anything or to talk you into my point of view. I’m asking because I genuinely want to listen. Yes, it’s personal, but the personal things are where we find our commonality. The more we get our hands messy by caring, listening to people, and share our own experiences, we cease to be black or white, male or female, rich or poor. We are human. Looking for the mystery of love.
I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships, this desire that burns in us. Is it acceptance? Is it natural to want to be loved? Is it because we need the eggs?
We want to be wanted. We need to be loved. We need to give love away. Simple yes, but that begs the question..
What Is Love?
All 7 billion of us on this seventh rock to the sun (Pluto forever!) have an idea and opinion about love. About relationships. Esp. once we establish them, how to maintain them. Chris Rock may have said it best: “Relationships: easy to get into, hard to maintain.”
So what do we do? Why do we need the eggs, and once we get them, then what? It is a beautiful mystery that I’m realizing I’ve been writing about here this whole time. How by being honest and connecting to ourselves, we can have better relationships.
Relationships are wonderful, hard, irrational, beautiful, educational experiences we must have. What do you think?
[photo: The Justice Legg of America by JD Hancock]