Have you ever had an epiphany and you wish you hadn’t? You wish you hadn’t because it is an uncomfortable truth about yourself that you would rather deal with later. And by later I mean never.
How Creativity Is Like Recess
My moment of clarity came last week, and it was like a breath of fresh air smacked me upside my bald head. I would rather not admit this, esp. out loud, but I, Jermaine Jay Lane, am addicted to validation. There. I said it. Can we talk about the weather or the latest celebrity gossip now? (Can you believe what they did? I know right.)
I have put this website together, cranked out content every Sunday and Thursday, and I find myself practically jonesing for validation from you. I feel like I need you to pick me, like we are about to play kickball and God knows, I don’t want to be the last one picked.
I write, that is my calling, my torturous pleasure. When I write, it creates this space for me where I can find peace and kill The Lion waiting for me. The difference now is writing online where all of the world could possibly see.
So I found myself looking for validation instead of writing for the sheer joy of it.
A Mea Culpa
I apologize to you, because my addiction has manifested in the form of comments. I don’t want anyone to feel coerced into commenting. If you have something to say, by all means, this is a safe place to say it. If not, then that is absolutely okay with me. Really. (I’m not writing this as a passive way to get comments either, I’m speaking from my heart o’ hearts.)
I am grateful anyone reads what I write. This attitude of gratitude is a space I create for other areas of my life, so why not here also? This is much more about you than for me, and I must live that and not just write it.
They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab…
There have been other times in my life I’ve had an unhealthy pursuit of validation. In relationships, in work, etc. Perhaps, you have as well.
We could get all psychological and deep, but I think being aware of the issue and vocalizing it is the best beginning to getting sober. Validation in and of itself isn’t bad, yet the constant craving is what makes it unhealthy.
We can embrace our work/art/that which makes us come alive and live in that space regardless of other people noticing or giving a pat on the back. We pick and encourage ourselves. The question is, would you do ______ if no one ever saw it? My answer is yes.
What is yours?
[photo by Sean Davis]