The Pit

I waited patiently for the Lord, He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit, out of the miry clay…

There are so many voices.
So many paths to take.
My being is silenced by other people’s doing.
“Go back to school”
“Get a real job”
“You should ______, then you will be happy.”
I think I know who I am.
I think?

I think I can.
But I don’t know how.
Why won’t someone just tell me what to do?
Why won’t someone draw me a map to follow
Because I feel lost, sinking further in a pit of my own design.

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm. 

I have so many doubts, so many questions
And I don’t feel like I have a sure footing.
I feel like there are so many paths, it’s difficult to focus.
I feel like the only time I have to know myself
Is time to I create.
Which quickly becomes a self hosted party of one
With savory whines, aged over many years.

Many will see.
Many will see and fear.

My quest for answers seem to drag me further down the pit.
I’m at the end of all my wits, when I feel a light.
A spark, a flicker, a kindle of flame which starts to burn.
A fire ignites from within, and my surroundings are illuminated.
And I see a hand, reaching down, perhaps there the whole time.
Beckoning me to grab hold
In the midst of all my worry, doubt, fear, and feeling like a hot mess.
I grab ahold.
I grab
A hold.
Of myself, of my being, of my doing.
To which, I rise.

I will sing, sing a new song.
I will sing, sing a new song.

 

 

[Poem #12.  The words in bold were originally written by King David, music added years ago by the band U2.  It’s worth a moment to take a listen here.]

 

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